Home, home, where I wanted to goin Sonstige Fanfiction 30.08.2008 01:43
von Ran • Besucher | 901 Beiträge
Titel: Home, Home, where I wanted to go
Film: Garden State
Disclaimer: Mir gehört gar nix, außer der Idee. Der Rest gehört Zach Braff.
Anmerkung: Ja, die Story ist Englisch. Sie ist uralt und sicher voller grauenvoller Fehler, die ich mal wieder nicht gefunden habe. Ich find sie okay, nicht super, nicht super schlecht. Baut auf nem Zitat aus dem Coldplay Song 'Clocks' auf. Und der Vorteil ist: man muss den Film 'Garden State' noch nicht mal kennen, um sie zu verstehen Big Grin So then, let's get to the heart of the English language Big Grin
Home, what kind of word is this? Home is just a place, people say. A place, where you grow up, a place, you have got a relation to. Home is a place in your heart, people say. Where your heart lives, your home is. I had not known that feeling for the last ten years. Well, I had not known this feeling in my whole life, and if I had, it had been buried deep inside me, but when I saw the house I grew up in again, the feeling suddenly overcame me, only for a second, and I felt odd.
Later, when I was with Sam, I described home as an imaginary place. For me it was, for I never really felt home. It was different with Sam, though, I knew she was happy, where she lived and with her family. It was funny that she seemed as if she had never actually thought about this question- even I know she had, because it is such a Sam-like question. She is the more thoughtful of us two, and also the livelier. Before I met her, I never really lived. It had been a form of vegetating, but not living. When we met at the doctor, I knew from the first moment on that she is special. She is weird, crazy, capricious, a liar, but she was also gentle, nice, lively, modest. When she smiles you know, she means it, and when she cries, she is not ashamed of it. And I really like her. Yes, I more than just like her, as you can see, and it is still the same. Every day with Sam is a new experience, something special, wonderful. She just shows you the bright side of life, and when you are sad, she knows how to pull you up. When I am with her, I have got this feeling of home I missed so much in my life. And if we just walk through the forest, without talking, it is special, because her way of showing you nature is so special. She is herself. And I am beginning to be myself, too.
I never really felt happy before. I could not cry either. I was always filled with the drugs my father gave me. But crying is essential. Without crying, you cannot smile either. And sometimes, it just gives you a feeling of freedom, just to stand there and cry. And then you close your eyes and the whole world vanishes, you feel complete, and you want to smile again, because you know, everything will be alright and your tears will dry. The cold rain is dying on your skin, little lives, like the words you say. Everything seems to be alive if you think about it, everything nature gave us is alive, not just you and me. And when you stand there, at this place, crying and feeling complete, you suddenly feel happy. And you feel like you are home, where you belong, and the place you have always dreamed of. You realize that you just need to hold your dreams in your heart and never let them go. And that is, what Sam shows you.
And sometimes you need to do something really weird, something no one else has ever done before. Something that makes you special. And you should not care about what others say. It does not matter, what others think about you doing a handstand on the street or dancing in the rain. Because they do not know, they do not understand. I understood, what Sam meant by it.
And now I am here and I am alive. And sometimes I feel just bad, and I feel like I am not worth it. And I lie down, sleep, wake up, and suddenly, everything has changed, and everything is beautiful. And I cry and I smile. Sam showed me both, showed me how to smile and cry, and I love her for this, and I love her for showing me the really important things in life, for giving me moments, perfect moments, I just want to hold in my heart. And when everything seems to be bad, I think of these moments, and I feel better. And while I am crying and down, while I am smiling and happy, I realise what Sam always told me: That in the end, life is everything we have. I have got life. And I have finally found a place I can call home; I have finally found someone to rely on, and home is not just a word anymore. It is a place, in my heart and a place I live in. What else do I want?