Regaining Control (2x05) ONESHOT

in Fanfiction englisch 07.04.2013 01:07
von forever. • Besucher | 344 Beiträge

Regaining Control

Author: forever. (me)
Characters: Elle, Hotchner
Genre: Hurt/Comfort
Rating: T (?)
Disclaimer: I do not own Criminal Minds

TRIGGER WARNING: This story contains non-explicit mentions of rape!


“You have no control over what the other guy does. You only have control over what you do.”
A. J. Kitt


„Greenaway? What the hell are you doing? “
Elle froze. Hotch! Why was he here? How had he found her?

She lowered her gun – what else could she do? – still staring at Lee. The last time she had lost sight of him had been devastating for her.

William Lee smiled a triumphant smile. He knew he was safe – Elle would not shoot her before her boss’s nose.

“Oh sweetheart... I thought I had sufficiently expressed my gratitude, but obviously it has not been enough yet! Well, see you next time then!” He sighed, turned around and walked away calmly, completely ignoring Hotchner’s presence.

Elle could not believe what had just happened. She had been so close!

So close to end the nightmares hunting her every time she tried to sleep.

Randell Garner had not been brought to account for shooting her,
for inserting his finger into her wound to write a note with her blood,
for leaving her alone to die in her own house.

He had taken any feeling of power away from Elle, and then he had blown himself up, giving her no chance to regain control by arresting him – or by ending his life the way he had tried to end hers.

Elle could not let this happen again. She could not let Lee get away with what he had done to her, too. It was too much. Everything was too much right now!

Before she could abandon herself to the impulse to simply run away, Hotch had finally caught her up, sternly staring at her the way he usually stared at suspects.
*I am much more than only a suspect* Elle thought *I am already proven guilty! I have been caught in the act of trying to kill someone!*

The urge to run away arose again, but before she could even move, a stern “Don’t even think about it” broke the silence. Elle sighed. “Hotch, I...”
*Hotch, I what? Hotch, I know you just caught me trying to shoot a serial rapist, but can’t we just forget this insignificant incident and have a home-time drink together?*
Nervously chewing her lip, Elle waited for her boss to do something – anything. She just could not stand the silence, the look of expectancy in his eyes. She felt like a head of cattle being checked at a weekly marked. Would she end up on an animal sanctuary or in a slaughterhouse?

Finally resigning, she reached out her arms. “Arrest me.”

Hotch snorted, then shook his head, but Elle’s relief only lasted for a few seconds.

“Get in the car. We need to talk.”


Hotch knew he could have locked the door, but he didn’t – not because he was certain that she would not try to escape, but because he instinctively knew it would have scared her. He did not want Elle to feel trapped, but nevertheless he needed to talk to her.

“Elle...” He hesitated, which put her on the alert. Hesitation was absolutely not Hotch-like. The Aaron Hotchner she knew always found the right words! This was serious. But Elle had not imagined it to be that serious!

“This was not about Lee’s other victims, was it?”
The way he emphasized the word “other” made Elle freeze. He knew! Or had he only guessed? Exaggeratedly disgusted, she tried to convince him that he was wrong:

“I don’t know wha...” - “Yes, Elle. You do. You know exactly what I am talking about!” *FUCK*
Elle turned away, covering her face with her hands, unable to look at her boss.

“Elle...?” Hotch gently touched her shoulder, trying to make her turn around again, to reassure her everything was going to be okay, but Elle set up a cry as soon as she could feel his hand on her body.


He immediately withdrew his hand, and Elle scolded herself for being so impulsive.
*FUCK! If he didn’t know before, NOW he certainly does! Get yourself together, Greenaway!*

But she couldn’t. Quiet sobs escaped her throat, getting louder and louder until she finally could not help but cry uncontrollably, her legs drawn to her body and embraced with her arms.

Watching Elle fall apart without being able to help her broke something inside Hotch. He did not need her to tell him; he simply knew what this bastard had done to her.

After Lee had been set free again due to a lack of evidence, Elle had disappeared, too. Nobody had thought anything of it, assuming that she just needed some time to her own. Thinking about it again, this must have been the point of time where it had happened. Hotch could feel the guilt eating him up. Of course he had checked on her after returning to the hotel himself, but his knocks on the door had only been answered with “FUCKING LEAVE ME ALONE!”, and he had done her the favor.

Had William Lee been inside this room, forcing her to chase him away, and forcing her to do so much more? This would have been very risky, but it would have matched his modus operandi, whereas waylaying her somewhere outside would have been easier, but unusual...

Hotch made himself stop thinking about details he didn’t even want to know.

Having heard her leaving her hotel room in the middle of the night - they shared a wall - he had actually followed Elle to confront her with his suspicion. But although he had been prepared for almost everything - he had not expected to catch her trying to kill someone, and just as little had he expected her to burst into tears on his passenger seat!


Aaron Hotchner did not know what to do, and he could not handle this feeling. Her reaction had told him in no uncertain terms that any physical touching was taboo, but he somehow needed a connection to make sure his words would even get through to her.
“Elle...? Please look at me!”
Though she did not oblige, Hotch could tell that she was listening – the sobs had become fewer and quieter.

“I am so sorry.”
Again, she did not respond.

“Is there anything I can do?”

“Just let me go. Please!”
Her words were little more than a whisper.
Hotch sighed. “Okay. But I’ll drive you back to the hotel. No back talk!”

He could tell by the look in her face that he had scared her – again.
Trying to comfort her, he soothingly added “I will not hurt you, Elle, and I won’t touch you again, either. Promise!” With these words, Hotch started the engine and took off.

That night, William Lee disappeared, never to be seen again...


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