One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossi
One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 28.08.2010 22:50
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
Titel: One Night Changes Your Life
Disclaimer:: Criminal Minds gehört mir nicht, die Charaktere gehören mir nicht, ich verdien' nix damit... das Übliche halt
Warning: Gibts was zu warnen? Ich glaub nicht...
Anmerkung: Ich habe die Geschichte bereits bei http://www.fanfiction.net veröffentlicht. Wer da regelmäßig liest, ist vielleicht schon mal drüber gestolpert. Da ich gerade an einem Sequel hierzu arbeite, dachte ich mir, ich stell die Geschichte auch mal hier rein, dann kann ich bei der Gelegenheit gleich noch mal alles durchgehen, damit ich in der Fortsetzung nichts vergesse oder durcheinanderbringe.
Die Geschichte ist fertiggestellt, und ich werd versuchen etwa ein bis zweimal am Tag ein Kapitel zu posten.
Wer dann nach'm Lesen immer noch Bock hat, darf gerne auch im entsprechenden Thread (viewtopic.php?f=114&t=805) seinen Kommentar hinterlassen ;)
Summary: JJ ends up pregnant after a one-night stand with Rossi. How does he react? What happens afterwards? Will they find together in the end?
"No, this can't be true!" Jennifer Jareau shook her head violently as two pink stripes appeared on the pregnancy test she'd just taken. Her knees began to weaken as the realization sank in, and she had to sit down on the edge of her bathtub.
"God, this is so messed up," she thought, on the verge of bursting into tears. "How's that even possible? I'm on the pill!"
A thousand thoughts ran through her mind, but she couldn't seem to get a hold of them, dizziness waving through her body, making her sink onto the floor. How was she going to explain this to him?
It had been one night. Only one night that should make her feel like a desirous woman again. "Henry is only six months old, how am I going to handle two babies?"
Will, Henry's father had left her three months after the boy's birth, going back to New Orleans, where he'd come from. He had said that he missed his hometown, but JJ knew it was because of her, because she hadn't been attractive enough anymore for him. She knew it, because he'd told her on more than one occasion from the moment she and Henry had left the hospital that she should get rid of the baby weight on her hips. God, she'd tried, but it was not like it would secretly disappear after a few weeks. And with a newborn, her priorities were different for the moment. As the weeks had passed he'd pressed her harder, and she also noticed the way he looked at other women. She never knew if he had actually done more than just look at them, she never wanted to know, but after a while it was enough for her to take. Telling him that they both together would never work, he almost seemed relieved, ending things quickly by going back to Louisiana.
All of this wasn't quite conducive to her self-esteem, though, and she felt like she would never be interesting enough anymore for another man until he came along.
David Rossi had told her with that deep, seductive tone in his voice that he'd thought Will LaMontagne was a fool for not noticing that she was more attractive, and sexier than ever before. He had invited her over to his cabin to prove his words to her, and she had agreed.
Her mother was watching Henry that night, when JJ followed him home.
She'd had the best sex in her entire life, for one night she had lost herself in the gentle touch and the strong arms of David Rossi. When the next morning came, they'd both agreed to leave it at that one night.
It was especially hard for JJ to pretend as if nothing had happened, but she didn't want to destroy their good work-relationship by demanding something from him that he didn't seem to want to give. She realized over the next couple of weeks that David Rossi had managed to capture her heart, mind and soul, and it became harder and harder for her to pretend that this night hadn't meant anything to her. The fact that Rossi seemed to take it a lot easier, almost made her cry every time she saw him, and she had to hold back from smacking him in the face.
And now this. JJ couldn't quite determine how he would react when he heard the news, but she was sure he'd be less than thrilled. Hell, and she had assured him that she was on the pill!
She knew he liked children, he was good with Henry every time she brought him with her; as long as they weren't his own, he was fine, but he had stressed on more than one occasion that, since it didn't happen with three ex-wives, own children obviously weren't meant to be in his life. "And honestly, I never really saw myself as a father," she heard him tell Hotch once.
Two days later, her doctor had officially confirmed JJ that she was indeed pregnant and she had slowly gotten used to the thought of expecting another child so soon after her first.
Now the moment of truth had come. She was standing in front of Rossi's office, nervously debating with herself if this was really the right moment for telling him such big news.
The night before, she had briefly thought of not telling him at all, of simply saying that the baby was the product of a one-night stand with a stranger once she started showing, but she knew better than to lie to a profiler. He wasn't stupid, besides, she'd told him at their night that this was the first time she'd had sex since Henry's birth, and she was pretty sure that Dave knew she was usually not the type of person to have a string of meaningless one-night stands, despite the one with him.
And to her it hadn't been meaningless at all. She'd never felt anything like that before when she'd slept with Rossi. They had made love, she realized, now finally seeing clearly what making love truly meant. When he'd suggested on keeping it a one-time event, she'd agreed, but it had broken her heart. She knew she'd secretly had feelings for Rossi even before Henry was here, despite trying to make a relationship work with Will, but only in the past few weeks had she started to admit it to herself. Rossi had been a great friend after Will had been gone, having been there for her no matter what, but right now, she didn't know what all of this was worth.
Taking one last deep breath, she knocked on his office door, walking in as she heard his voice – this sexy and deep male voice that she loved so much – calling her in.
"Jennifer! What brings you in here? What can I do for you?" She shivered at his use of her first name. He was the only one who did it occasionally, and it always made her want to jump at him and kiss him senseless. But right now was not the moment to think about that.
"I, uhm, I've gotta talk to you," she said haltingly, trying hard not to lose the courage she'd talked into herself all morning.
"Sure, sit down." David guided her over to his black leather office couch and sat down next to her.
"What is it?"
Closing her eyes for a moment, she tried to find her words.
"I-I'm pregnant," she finally pressed out, not looking into his eyes but on her nervously teetering feet.
"You – what?" His voice sounded surprised – at best. He swallowed hard and then asked again: "Excuse me?" Now, the anger could clearly not be missed.
"I'm pregnant," JJ repeated, her voice steady and determined now, even though she didn't feel that way.
"But you said you were on the pill? How could you be pregnant?" He was shaking his head in disbelief.
"I was! I don't know how it happened! My doctor said it could be because I'd only taken it for one cycle after Henry's birth. No contraception method is 100% safe," she tried to defend herself.
"Ah, come on, JJ. I'm not buying that. Did you forget to take it, or what?"
"I didn't, Dave. I swear!"
He stood up and started pacing the room. "Great, that's just great," he said sarcastically, flashing her angry glances. "And what are you going to do about it?"
Jumping up herself, JJ snapped: " Excuse me? Are you implying that I should get rid of my child? You know what, you selfish son of a bitch? Go to hell, where you belong!" She stormed out of his office, leaving a stunned David Rossi standing helplessly in the middle of the room, knowing that he had just screwed up big.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 30.08.2010 20:27
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
Rushing out of Rossi's office, JJ fumed with rage. She had anticipated that he would not jump with happiness at the prospect of becoming a father, but to actually suggest to her to dispose of her child – no matter how implicitly or unconsciously – was more than she could take. It was simply not acceptable for her. She stormed past Hotch's office blindly and was about to run down the stairs when she bumped into him.
"Whoa, JJ!" Hotch blew out. "What's up with you?"
JJ just shook her head. "Nothing, Hotch, it's nothing."
Furrowing his brows at the sight of violent anger mirroring in her face, he went on: "You sure? You look like someone's pissed you off tremendously."
She shot a dark glance into the direction of Rossi's office and Hotch knew exactly that his friend must have pulled one of his infamous stunts again that had it in their nature to upset people. He just didn't know what it was, yet, but he was determined to find out. Bad blood within their team was nothing he would tolerate as it might diminish their successful teamwork.
"JJ, whatever he has done now, I'm sure he didn't mean it," Hortch tried to calm his blonde media liaison down.
"Oh yeah? I highly doubt that. He sounded pretty clear to me."
"Look, why don't we go inside and you tell me about it? Maybe I can help you with him?" Hotch suggested, guiding her into his office, before she had a chance to protest.
"Have a seat. Would you like a cup of coffee?"
"Yes, I'll have one so that I can throw it at him!" JJ raged.
"What happened? Did he have one of his stupid little chats with the press again?"
"No, that's not it." JJ took a deep breath, knowing that Hotch wouldn't like what he was going to hear.
"What is it then?"
"You're not going to like it."
"Why don't you tell me so that I can decide for myself?"
"Don't say I didn't warn you."
"JJ, I'm sure it's not that bad now, is it?"
"It is actually. I'm pregnant."
"What?" Hotch was dumbfounded.
"I'm pregnant," JJ repeated.
"But what does Dave have...," he started, as it hit him. "Wait, is he...?"
"Yes, Hotch. Rossi is the father."
"Oh my God, I can't believe this."
"Told you, you won't like it."
He looked at her for a few seconds, seeing sad, tired eyes instead of the joy one's supposed to have written all over their face when expecting a child, and he realized that he wouldn't be helping her if he reproached her now. Smiling encouragingly he said gently: "I'm guessing he's not thrilled then."
"He doesn't want to have it." JJ's voice sounded almost numb.
"What? The baby?"
"Yes. He more or less told me to get rid of it."
Hotch shook his head as if he couldn't believe what he'd heard.
"JJ, are you sure? I mean, maybe he didn't mean it like that."
"Hotch, I am sure!" She stressed.
Hotch fell silent for a moment, before he asked: "How long has this been going on with you and Dave?"
JJ sighed deeply and looked down on the floor as a small tear escaped her eye. "There is nothing going on. It was just one
"And you didn't use protection?"
"I was on the pill, I honestly thought this wasn't going to happen."
Seeing her let her head fall into her hands, he continued: "Am I correct to assume that you wanted more than just one night?"
JJ raised her head again. "I don't know, maybe. We both agreed that it was only a one-time event."
"But you have deeper feelings for him, am I right?" JJ didn't have to answer his question to tell him that he was right, when he saw her desperate eyes.
Taking her hand and pressing it reassuringly, he said: "I'm going to talk to him, okay? We'll find a solution."
Smiling lightly for the first time since she'd left Rossi's office, JJ answered: "Thanks, Hotch. I really appreciate it. But I'm not sure if you can do anything about it."
"Let's see, JJ. I know Dave can be a real jerk sometimes, and more often than not he needs some pushing in the right direction, but I don't think he'd be stupid enough to miss out on his first child."
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 31.08.2010 16:51
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
When JJ had left his office, Hotch took a deep breath. He had tried hard not to let his rage about Rossi's behavior overwhelm him in front of JJ, knowing it wouldn't help any of them, but at the moment, he could not remember if he had ever been this angry with his friend before. How Rossi always managed to affect a whole bunch of people around him with his loose behavior was beyond Hotch's understanding.
Rossi was a notorious playboy, he had been ever since Hotch knew him, and normally he was not particularly interested in Rossi's love life, but this time it was different. This time he had hurt not only a valued member of his team – and therefore possibly jeopardized the whole team dynamics – but also someone Hotch considered a friend. A close friend.
Trying to keep his emotions under control, he went over to Rossi's office, and entered without even bothering to knock. He found Rossi sitting on his couch, looking up at him in surprise as he came in.
"Hotch, what...," Rossi started, but was immediately interrupted.
"You've gone too far this time, Dave!" Hotch said harshly.
"What the heck are you talking about?" Rossi retorted, anger rising in him.
"Oh, I think you know quite well what I'm talking about. You and JJ!"
"I don't think that's any of your business."
"Yes it is! For one because I don't appreciate bad blood among my team ..."
"Then why do you only blame me?" Rossi tried to interrupt, but was talked over without a blink.
"And second, in case you've missed it, I consider JJ a friend, and I don't like to see my friends getting hurt."
"Up until now I thought we were friends, too."
"We are, Dave, and I care as much about you as I do about JJ, but you screwed up this time and I can't accept that."
"Wait a minute, she was there, too. She was participating rather willingly in the act that got her pregnant," Rossi tried to defend himself.
"I'm not particularly blaming you for having had sex with her – I'm not too thrilled about that either, but it's not what I'm driving at right now. What makes me really angry is the fact that you called her a liar and that you actually had the nerve to suggest to her she should get an abortion."
"Wait, when did I say that? I never said that!" he exclaimed.
"You might not have said it, but you've implied it, and JJ understood it that way. Do you even think for once before you speak?"
"And what was that about me calling her a liar?"
"The thing with the pill, maybe? You accusing her of having forgotten to take it?" Hotch asked sarcastically.
"Ah, come on, Hotch, you have to admit that something has to be wrong with that. How many women do you know that got pregnant while on the pill?"
Hotch could only shake his head in disbelief. "You are obviously a lot more stupid than I thought."
Before Rossi could say another word, he continued: "But enough of that now. What I want to know is what you're going to do?"
"What do you mean?"
"This is your child we're talking about here."
"Damn it, Hotch, you can't blame me for not being overjoyed with happiness. I never planned on becoming a father. I don't want to be a father."
"Well, you will be, so you better start getting used to that thought."
"I can't be a father."
"Dave, don't make me hit you now!" Hotch warned him with an angry gleam in his eyes. "You and JJ need to talk. Sooner than later."
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 01.09.2010 22:03
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
So, weil ich noch nicht weiß, ob ich es morgen schaffe, zu posten, gibts jetzt gleich mal zwei Kapitel. Viel Spaß!
Hotch had said he wanted her and Rossi for a meeting in his office in – JJ took a look at her watch – half an hour. He didn't sound too pleasant when he came to her office after his talk with Rossi, but hadn't said anything about the content of his and Rossi's conversation. His facial expression gave away a lot, though, anger clearly shining through his usual stoic mimic.
Although he hadn't specifically made the meeting an order, JJ knew that it was. And she also knew why. Besides trying everything to support her as a friend, of which she was really grateful, JJ was aware of the fact that Hotch was worried about his team, that he had to make sure that, however she and Rossi stood to each other, the team didn't suffer.
She perfectly understood him, the last thing she wanted was to let their private life interfere with their work, with the team's success, and as much as she wanted inflict unbearable harm on Rossi at the moment, she also knew that she would find a way to bring herself to maintain a professional work relationship with him. The team needed him, as a world class profiler he was vital to their achievement. They all played an important part in their high success rates, each member of the team in its own way, and JJ did not want to jeopardize that.
With a deep sigh she made her decision. She was going to give Rossi one last chance at their meeting with Hotch. Not knowing what they both had talked about earlier, she thought that maybe Rossi just needed a few moments to get used to the fact of having a child soon. Should he apologize to her later, she would not deprive him of the chance of being a father. Should he, however, remain the stubborn person he had shown her he was this morning, she would not let him within a one mile radius of her child.
Professional behavior at work, she reckoned, should not be a problem for her. If she could deal with a horde of hungry hyenas of the press on each case, than she could also get on with Rossi.
Another glance at her watch told her it was time now. Slowly walking across the bullpen to Hotch's office, she was glad that her teammates still seemed to be on their lunch break, as a meeting between her, Rossi and Hotch, and without them, surely would have aroused questions, she was not prepared to answer yet.
As soon as Hotch had left Rossi's office again, he sat back in his chair and slammed his hand on the desk. Damn, JJ's
pregnancy and Hotch's clear leaning towards her side had caught him off guard.
Becoming a father still seemed unreal to him, the whole concept of being a parent never had this welcoming appeal to him that it seemed to have on most other people.
JJ was a wonderful person, someone who he had easily fallen for the moment they'd met, but he had never made a move, knowing that this – a family and children – was what she wanted, and what he would never be able to give her. When she'd met Will LaMontagne, he was happy for her for having found someone that could give her what she wanted, even though it still hurt that she was now officially off limits for him. But that stupid idiot of a cop had screwed up and Rossi, standing by her side as a true and reliable friend, had felt himself being drawn more and more into JJ's sphere, until that one night a couple of weeks ago, when he wasn't able to hold himself back anymore. Oh, how much he wished the next morning that he had! There was no way he could have more than one night with her. She was highly addictive, and he knew that if he didn't watch out, he'd be in for everything, without a return ticket.
Oh, the problem was not Henry. He loved the little boy, more than he dared imagine, but he told himself repeatedly that he was not made to be a father. The risk of screwing up was too high, he told himself, so there was only one way to prevent that: Stop it, before it had a chance to start.
God, how much he had missed JJ in the nights to follow. Talk about addiction...
Every night, he went to bed wishing she was there with him, if only to hold her, inhale her unique scent and keep her and himself warm. But his last thoughts before he fell asleep were always: "It's for the best."
And now this! Ever since JJ had told him the news this morning, his world seemed to be spinning around him, seemed to slip out of his control.
He had to make sense of it until the meeting with Hotch and JJ, but wherever he started to order his thoughts, he only came back to one and the same point: "I can't be a father, I'm not ready to be a father." He had to laugh scornfully at his own thoughts. Fifty four years old and not ready to be a father, that was just as ridiculous as it sounded. Putting all his hope into Hotch's ability to mediate, he stood up as he noticed that it was time for their meeting and went over to his office.
At the door he met JJ, shooting him a dark look, and he cringed at the hurt and pain he detected in her eyes, knowing that it was him who had caused it, and not being sure at how to ease it.
Once they were seated inside Hotch's office, the Unit Chief wasted no time and got straight to the topic.
"Okay, I want this to be a calm and rational talk, guys. No one will leave the room until you two have worked out some kind of agreement, understood?"
JJ and Rossi nodded.
"So, who wants to start? Dave?"
Rossi frowned at him, but started to speak after a few seconds. "Listen, JJ, I don't really know what to say right now. I am really sorry about the way I feel, but I can't help it. I can't change into a different man within a few hours. It's just that I'm not ready to be a father, and I don't see how I could ever be."
"Not ready?" JJ shrieked, and was immediately interrupted by Hotch.
"JJ, please, I know you're upset, and you have my full understanding for that, but screaming at each other won't help you two find a solution."
She nodded shortly, and went on in a quieter tone. "You think I was ready to have another child so soon after Henry? I wasn't, god, I'm still not sure how everything will work out, but complaining about it doesn't change the facts now, does it?"
"Then tell me why we are in this situation again." Rossi started to accuse her again.
"Dave, stop." Hotch interfered at once, knowing exactly what the older man was about to say. "This is not the time and place to discuss how you two got into this. Although, let me add that I don't quite understand how two intelligent and experienced adult people with no desire for another child, were not able to use adequate protection to prevent pregnancy."
Seeing that both wanted to answer to that, he quickly raised his hand to silence them. "No, don't say anything. That was a rhetorical question. And yes, Dave, you are just as much to blame for it. Fact is that you are becoming parents and that you have to focus on this issue rather than accusing each other of all kinds of things. On with it."
Hesitantly, Rossi began again. "If you need money for the child, I can help you with that, JJ."
"You think I want your money? The child needs a father to be there for him, not his money."
"JJ, I don't think I can do that. I don't want strings. I tried that, three times, and it didn't work out. I failed, and I don't want to fail anyone again," Rossi tried to defend himself.
"You're afraid, Dave," Hotch threw in.
"Hell, yeah, but I can't change that." Rossi sighed, looking from him to JJ, searching for at least a tiny bit of understanding in them.
JJ shook her head vigorously, tears forming in her eyes as she stated with an ultimate finality in her voice: "You know what, Rossi? Go to hell. Stay out of my life and my child's life."
Seeing the pain in her eyes, Rossi tried to apologize. "I'm so sorry, JJ, I really am. I can only say that if you need any money, you just have to ask, but I just don't know how much more I can give you."
"And I will say it again: I don't need your money! If this is your last word, I will have a waiver of paternity drawn up for you to be signed as soon as the baby's here."
Rossi lowered his head in defeat, but didn't say another word.
Waiting for a few seconds to analyze the situation in front of him, Hotch realized that there would not be a happy ending for his two friends, at least not for the moment.
"Well, if this is the way you two want it, let's move on to the next point. What I want to know from both of you, is: Are you still capable of working together? Will you manage to not let your animosities interfere with our work?"
JJ answered first. "Of course, Hotch."
Rossi nodded in agreement, as JJ turned towards him again. "I think that it would be for the best if we didn't tell the team yet that I am pregnant, and when we will, it's probably easier if they didn't know who fathered that child."
Rossi nodded again, and JJ continued. "As hard as it is for me to say this right now, Rossi, but you are an important part of this team. The others look up to you, they respect you, and I'm not sure if it is any good for our continued success if they lost that respect."
He felt ashamed for not being able to bring up the same grandeur as JJ, so he simply whispered: "Thank you, JJ, I really
"Shut up, Rossi. I'm not doing this for you, but for the team. I happen to like my job, and I'd appreciate it if you didn't spoil that by making the work atmosphere within our unit insufferable. You and I have nothing else to say to each other anymore except for work related issues."
As Rossi didn't say anything else, Hotch began to speak again. "Are you two sure, you can pull this off? I mean, you do realize that you're working with people who read behavior for a living, don't you? They may notice anyway."
"I am sure," JJ insisted. "From now on, I will not let my private life interfere with work ever again."
"I can do it, too." Rossi said.
"Fine. But let me give you one last warning. If this agreement doesn't work out, I will have to pull one of you from the team."
JJ knew exactly that although he didn't specify it, she would be the one who'd have to go. Rossi knew it as well, and it was the last thing he wanted. He slowly began to realize that he might have lost her for good. Not being able to see her anymore every day would break him. Little did he know that the following months would do just that with him, but he had no idea, how he was ever going to fix the mess that he'd made.
"Well then, if that's all you have to say, I suggest you go back to work. I will do my best to support you. Both of you. And I want you to come to me with any problem, you understand me?" Hotch concluded their meeting.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 04.09.2010 13:24
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
JJ and Rossi proved their words to their Unit Chief over the next months. Their behavior towards each other at the office and on the cases was nothing but professional, everything seemed to be just as usual – except for the fact that they avoided each other like the plague. They'd easily fallen into a habit of taking turns when Morgan or Prentiss asked for spending lunch together, or when the team went out to have dinner together during a case. Every once in a while, they realized, both of them had to be present at those occasions if they didn't want to raise suspicions among their fellow team members, but they both made sure to sit as far away from each other as possible. And it seemed to work, neither of the rest of the team questioned anything.
Of course it was also because Hotch did his best to help JJ and Dave out. He refrained from teaming them together for interviews with witnesses and the like, something of which both were extremely grateful for.
When JJ reached the end of the first trimester of her pregnancy, she decided it was time to tell the rest of the team. The were all astounded about news, since they hadn't been aware that JJ had been dating anyone since Will, but everyone was really happy for her.
"So, are you going to tell us, who the lucky father is?" JJ involuntarily cringed at Garcia's innocently spoken words as they
filed out of the round table room at the end of their meeting. Trying not to lose her composure, JJ answered: "Garcie, it's not important. He's not part of my life, or the baby's."
"He let you down?" Emily exclaimed with an incredulous look.
"It was just a one-night stand, girls. There's no need to complicate things any more for everyone," JJ said with a certainty she didn't know she possessed in this situation.
"JJ, you of all people were having a one-night stand? Like I believe that." Garcia didn't want to give up so fast, but was shut up by JJ immediately.
"Garcia, stop it. I don't have anything else to say about this other than I've just said."
Penelope exchanged a skeptical look with Prentiss, but they didn't push the matter.
"So, any preferences after Henry? Want to have a girl this time or another boy?" Emily asked then, changing the subject.
"To be honest, I haven't quite thought about that." JJ smiled. "But I've always wanted a little girl."
"Oh, a girl would be great!" Garcia threw in excitedly. "Just think about all those fancy little dresses you could don her, and what you could do with her hair and so on!"
"I don't doubt that you would like that, Penelope," Emily smirked.
"Oh yeah, I have quite a few ideas already," Garcia admitted.
"God help us all!" JJ laughed. "But you do know it could still be a boy, too, don't you?"
"I know, I know. Doesn't change the fact that I already have the perfect ideas."
It wasn't near as easy to pretend as JJ thought it would be. Seeing Rossi every day at work was hard, painful even.
Three months ago, she never would have thought that she'd dread to go to the office every day. In fact, it had been quite the opposite. Besides the fact that she loved her job, it was the prospect of being with Rossi that she had been looking forward to every morning. And now she couldn't believe how it all had turned out.
Every time she saw him she berated herself for not being able to get over her feelings for him. True, she was still more than angry with him than she'd ever been with anyone in her life, but deep down she knew what she missed the most during the day. Him. Their lunch breaks together, their coffee breaks, talking about Henry with him. He had always asked about the little boy, seemed genuinely interested in everything, which made it even harder to make sense of his behavior now.
Now, the same man broke her heart every day a little bit more. She would never admit it, but the one thing she secretly hoped the most was that he would eventually come around. She was too proud to talk to him, however, and no such thing happened.
He ignored her just as she did him
Every night, she cradled Henry to her chest until he was asleep, while tears were running down her cheeks. "Oh Henry, sweetheart, I never wanted it to come this far. How did I let this happen?"
She cried herself to sleep at nights, and in the mornings she needed longer to apply her makeup to hide the dark circles under her eyes with every day. She was functioning on minimum hours of sleep and it became more and more obvious that the whole situation was taking its toll on her.
When someone asked her about her tired looks, she usually told them something about Henry having colics.
Hotch and Rossi were the only ones who knew what was really going on with her.
"JJ!" Hotch approached her one day as they were on their way to another case. "Maybe you should stay behind this time, get some rest."
"I'm fine, Hotch," JJ answered with determination.
"You don't look fine."
"I know, but it's going to be okay. I just need some more time to get over it."
"Hotch, please. Let me do my job. I'm not sure if I could handle it, if you took that away from me. I need to occupy myself with something."
"All right, JJ," Hotch sighed. "But be careful, will you? And talk to me if you need anything."
"Shall I talk to Dave again? Maybe you two manage to work everything out?"
"What good would it do? You heard him."
"I was just thinking..."
"Hotch, leave it. He made his intentions very clear, don't you think? I'm not interested in hearing it again."
For Rossi it was just as hard seeing JJ suffering. It bothered him more with every day that her usual bright smile, which he had been looking forward to every morning when he left his house, had vanished off her face completely.
Pregnant women were supposed to shine, to become more and more beautiful as the pregnancy proceeded, but the only thing on JJ that indicated she was expecting a baby, was her growing belly. It was nothing like when she was pregnant with Henry.
Not that she wasn't beautiful anymore, Rossi still found her to be the most stunning woman he'd ever laid eyes on, but the glow that seemed to surround her, that lightened every room when she came in, it had disappeared. His heart ached every moment of the day, but he couldn't bring himself to take a step forward.
"She's better off without me," he told himself every night, sitting in his living room recliner with a glass of Scotch in his hands.
He went from one glass after dinner to at least three or four until he was drunk enough to fall into a dreamless sleeps at nights. After a while he couldn't even remember anymore what it was like to start work without a hangover.
It hurt, too, that he also seemed to have lost his best friend. Hotch and he weren't talking anymore as well, which was more due to his own refusal rather than for Hotch's lack of tries. Dave just couldn't look into his eyes anymore. He missed their gatherings in either one of their offices after work, but he was nowhere near ready for Hotch's reproaches and advice concerning JJ.
As long as the cases were keeping him busy, it wasn't so bad, he didn't have to think about her and the mess around him all the time, but the lonely breaks and evenings at home were hell. He tried to tell himself that without a doubt JJ would never speak with him again, that her ignorant behavior gave it all away, but he also knew that it was all due to his own fault. No matter how often he told himself it was all for the best, that he would just screw up if he were a father, deep in his heart he was wondering all the time if he was making the right decision, or if this was the biggest mistake in his life.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 07.09.2010 21:46
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
JJ's parents came to visit their daughter about six months into her pregnancy.
JJ had already told them on the phone that they were going to be grandparents again, but they couldn't make it earlier as they had to take care of their little grocery store in the small town of East Allegheny, Pennsylvania.
When they had heard the news of another grandchild so soon after their first, they had been shocked, no doubt. Especially as their daughter had informed them that the baby was the product of a one-night stand. They were still not entirely happy with the fact that JJ hadn't married Will, Henry's father, and it surely didn't sit well with their conservative lifestyle that their Jennifer was now expecting the second baby from the second man. But after they had overcome the initial shock, they wanted to do everything within their power to support her.
JJ really appreciated her parents' aid, but also fully understood that they could only make it to D.C every so often, so when they announced their visit for a weekend in October, she initially tried to talk them out of it, knowing that they had to leave a lot of work at home in Pennsylvania. Secretly, she was quite happy that her parents were coming, because she could actually use her father's help with a second crib and a little redecorating in Henry's nursery.
Mary-Ann and Robert Jareau arrived around lunchtime on Saturday, and had insisted on taking a cab from the airport to Jennifer's house.
"You really shouldn't be driving, Jennifer," her mother had said in her usual overprotective way, causing her daughter to roll her eyes at the phone.
"Mom, I'm pregnant, not sick. I drive to work every day."
"Still. We're perfectly fine with taking a taxi." Mary-Ann left no room for debate, and in the end JJ was actually happy about it, because it left her more time to prepare some lunch for them, and to feed Henry before they arrived.
"Oh my God, Jennifer, Sweetheart, what's wrong with you?" Mary-Ann Jareau exclaimed as she saw her daughter once she had opened the door.
With her tired eyes, the dark circles underneath them, and the pale face, JJ was really looking more like a ghost than like a healthy and pregnant young woman.
"Mom, I'm fine! Why don't you come in first?" JJ sighed, hugging her mother tightly before turning to her father.
"Hi, Daddy!" She greeted him, as he pulled her into an even tighter embrace.
"Jenny, Sweetheart," he said, giving her a kiss on the head. "Your mother's right."
"Daddy, please, why don't you get in and get comfortable first, before you start with your questions?"
Inside, her mother went straight for Henry, who was sitting in his highchair at the kitchen table. "Oh, you're getting so big!" Mary-Ann cooed at the little boy.
"Mom, Dad, let me have your coats. Sit down, lunch is almost ready."
They ate lunch in silence for a few minutes, before JJ's mother started her interrogation.
"Jennifer, are you all right? You seriously don't look like it."
"Mom, I'm okay. I've had a rough couple of months at work, that's all."
"Maybe you shouldn't be working then anymore." Robert Jareau threw in.
"Dad, I like my job, and it's nothing I can't handle, so don't worry." JJ tried to explain.
"But what are you going to do when the baby's here? You'll have two of them then, and with your type of work, and all...," her mother continued.
"I'm sure I can work something out for the time after my maternity leave."
"Jenny, what about the baby's father?"
"Forget it, Daddy, he's not in the picture." JJ saw her parents exchange a look and went on. "Look, Mom, Dad, I know you don't approve of the way I've chosen to live my life, but I'm not sure if I can handle your reproaches right now."
"Jennifer, we're not accusing you of anything, it's just that we didn't expect all of this from you. It's not how we raised you."
"Mom, please. If you like it or not, you can't change it anymore. And believe me, I surely didn't plan all this."
Robert Jareau laid a soothing hand on his wife's arm and then said. "Jenny, it's okay. We may not agree on your lifestyle, but we're still your parents and we will give you all the help you need. It's just that I can't really believe this one-night stand with a stranger story. This is nothing like you. I'm sure there is more to the story, is there?"
Sighing deeply, JJ turned her gaze away from her parents and began to stroke Henry's little fingers, absorbed in thought.
"Who is the baby's father? Is it that LaMontagne guy again?" Her father asked.
"No!" JJ blurted out. "No, he's not the father. I haven't seen him ever since he left us and went back to New Orleans."
"So, who is it then?" Her mother kept pushing.
"What does it matter? He's not going to be in the baby's life, so we really don't have to talk it right now." JJ didn't even have to say more, her tortured expression on her face giving away everything.
"But he knows that you're pregnant? What kind of an asshole is he? I'm going to kill this guy for putting you in this situation if I ever find out who he is!"
"That's why I'm not telling you, Daddy."
"Are you actually defending him now?"
"I'm not, but committing murder won't bring us any further, will it? Can we please change the subject now?" She made a promise to herself to never tell her parents about Rossi, for she was sure that if she did, even more reproaches from her parents would follow, starting with "How could you get involved with someone you work with?" to "Jennifer, this man is old enough to be your father!" In fact, JJ realized that her Dad was only four years older than Rossi.
Apart from their constant questions, however, the weekend was a real pleasure. She loved her parents more than anything, even though her opinion on various matters differed vastly from her parents'. She was happy to see them, happy that they got to spend some time with Henry, and she was very thankful for all the help with the nursery and many other things. It was good to know that someone was there to have her back, just in case things would get out of hand.
Once she was alone with Henry again, her apartment almost felt empty.
Sitting down on her sofa with her baby in her arms, she felt lonelier than ever. Her mind wandered to Rossi, as it did every time she was alone, thinking. Before their night together, in the aftermath of her breakup with Will, she would have called him in a situation like that. They would talk on the phone for hours, or he would come over and listen to her ranting about Will's departure, making her forget her loneliness.
And now, he had turned out to be the same asshole as that good-for-nothing cop!
She began to wonder if she did the right thing in not telling her parents about Rossi. Her father would have made a living hell out of Rossi's life, of that she was sure. But there were still those damn feelings she couldn't get over. She knew exactly that his behavior only hurt her as much as it did, because she was still deeply in love with the man. She cursed herself for it, but she couldn't seem to find a way out of it. Sitting at home, alone, with nothing but her thoughts, seriously wasn't helping with that.
Garcia and Prentiss had been pushing her to go out on dates again. JJ had refused so far, thinking that there probably weren't many decent guys out there who would want to be with a pregnant woman that already had another child at home.
"JJ, you don't have to find a guy to marry, just go out and have some fun. It'll do you good." Garcia had said, offering to babysit Henry to emphasize her point.
It didn't sound so far off anymore, as she sat there on the couch, on the verge of crying again. She had to promise her parents to take better care of herself, and this might just be one way of getting better.
"Well, it surely can't hurt any more than it does now. Maybe this is a way to get over Rossi," she thought to herself.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 09.09.2010 23:56
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
A couple of weeks after her parents' visit, JJ went out for her Christmas shopping. Taking advantage of Garcia's offer to babysit Henry, she knew she was quite early with it this year, as it was only the first weekend in November, but she figured that now was the last chance to do it without any major efforts, as her belly was getting bigger and bigger with every day. She really didn't want to do her Christmas shopping pressed in between thousands of other people almost nine months pregnant.
She got presents for her parents and for Henry, of course, and decided to give Hotch a gift, too this year, a small thank-you present for all the help she'd received from him in the past months.
Fully packed with shopping-bags after a few hours, she made her way back to the elevators that led to the parking garage.
Struggling to push the elevator button with all the bags in her hands, she suddenly heard an all too familiar voice from behind.
"Wait, I'll help you."
She turned around and looked right into David Rossi's face.
"JJ!" He breathed out in surprise.
"Rossi." She nodded shortly.
Then another voice, female this time, was heard. "Davey, why didn't you wait for me?"
JJ took a look behind Rossi and saw a small, elderly woman with silver-dark hair approaching.
"Why don't you introduce me to your friend?" The woman insisted as soon as she reached them. Dave sighed and made the introductions. "Jennifer Jareau, this is my mother, Gracia Rossi. Mama, this is JJ, my colleague from the BAU."
"It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Rossi," Jennifer said politely, and felt herself immediately drawn to the older woman.
"What a lovely young woman my Davey is working with!" Gracia Rossi exclaimed and pulled JJ into a friendly and warm hug.
How Rossi turned out to become such a jackass with a wonderful mother like that, was beyond JJ's understanding.
"And she's having a baby!" Mrs. Rossi continued excitedly. With a disapproving glance on her son, she said to JJ: "I'm sure your parents are really happy to becoming grandparents. My Davey, unfortunately, hasn't graced me with grandchildren so far." Rossi cringed at his mother's innocently spoken words, and JJ almost burst into tears.
Everything in her wanted to scream at Rossi's mother that it was her grandchild she was carrying, but the words didn't make it out of her mouth. Rossi felt a painful clench in his heart when he saw both his mother's excitement and JJ's hurt expression. Oh, how much he wished he could make everything right, but he didn't say a word either.
Gracia Rossi didn't seem to notice the tension between the two, as she continued to talk away. "So, do you already know what you will have?" She asked, pointing at JJ's belly. JJ shook her head.
"No, I thought I'd want to have it a surprise."
"And your husband is excited too, yes?"
"Well, actually, I'm not married," she said uneasily. Gracia Rossi understood immediately.
"I'm sorry to hear that. The bastard deserves a thorough treatment with a rolling pin, I reckon?" Shooting Dave a fierce glance, she went on. "My Davey here knows that I'm not too old for putting someone across my knee."
JJ almost burst out into laughter at the irony of the situation, had it not been so tragic, and she saw Rossi growing more and more uncomfortable. She was sure the determined woman in front of them would give him hell, if she knew what was really going on, but when she saw the loving look Gracia Rossi exchanged with her son, she couldn't bring herself to tell her that her son was the prize bastard they were talking about.
"No," she thought. "This is between me and Rossi. No need to give the poor woman any grief or a probably even a heart attack."
"Are you on your way home?" Mrs. Rossi asked then.
"Actually, yes, I'm done with my Christmas shopping for this year."
"We're also finished for today. Davey, help the girl with the bags, will you?" She commanded her son, simply brushing JJ's objection away.
They got into the elevator, and rode down to the garage.
"I'll be waiting at our car. It was wonderful meeting such a lovely young lady, " Mrs. Rossi said, pulling JJ into another hug.
"The pleasure was all mine," JJ replied honestly. She'd liked David's mother instantly.
Taking JJ's bags, Rossi walked her over to her car.
"Thanks." JJ said shortly when they reached her Volvo.
"You're welcome." There was an awkward silence between them for a few seconds before Rossi began to speak again.
"JJ- Jennifer. Thank you for not telling my mother."
"Bite me, Rossi! I did not do this for you. Your wonderful mother obviously is not aware what a stupid son of a bitch you are, otherwise she would not adore you the way she does. Anyway, I was just trying to spare her from the disappointment. God knows that you deserve her rolling pin." He knew she was right.
"Listen, can we..." he began, but was immediately interrupted by her.
"I gotta go now." Slamming the trunk shut, she walked around the car and got in without another look or word.
Rossi hung his head in defeat. "How am I ever going to get out of this mess?" He wondered as he slowly walked back to his own car.
Back at home, JJ occupied herself with wrapping the gifts. Garcia was going to bring Henry back by eight o'clock, so she still had a few hours to herself. Her thoughts drifted to Rossi's mother.
She was such a warm-hearted and gentle, yet very determined woman. There was no one – besides her own mother of course – she could imagine to be a better grandmother for her child. Damn Rossi, because of his stupidity her baby would never even get to know her.
Suddenly, she felt as if everything around her was breaking down. Letting her head fall into her hands, she started to cry, and couldn't seem to stop even after a long while. It was all too much, the stress of the past months finally overwhelming her.
JJ didn't know how long exactly she sat there on the living room floor between all the gift wrap and the presents, and she was only pulled out of her thoughts when the doorbell rang. A glance at her watch told her that it had to be Garcia with Henry, as it was shortly after eight.
Getting up and wiping the tears form her face, she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her stomach.
"Oh my God, the baby!" Her thoughts and her heart began to race. The doorbell rang again, accompanied by heavy knocks, and JJ walked over to the door, holding her belly as the pain waved periodically through her body.
Wincing, she opened the door, and was barely able to greet Garcia, let alone take Henry into her arms. Penelope noticed immediately that something was off.
"What's wrong, JJ?" Seeing her friend's hands on her stomach, she asked worriedly: "Is it the baby? Is something wrong with the baby?"
"I don't know," JJ pressed out.
"Okay, we gotta get you to the hospital. Now!"
Setting down Henry for a moment, she quickly helped JJ into her coat, grabbed her purse and Henry again and rushed them to the car.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 14.09.2010 14:25
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
The drive home went by in silence for the most part. Rossi felt bad for lying to his mother. JJ was right, there was nothing he deserved more than a few earnest spanks with her rolling pin.
He was in deep thought, his eyes strictly focused on the street in front of him, but he couldn't bring himself to tell his mother the truth, because, frankly, the last thing he wanted in addition to the current situation, was a disappointed mother. There was nothing worse for him than to let the only woman down, who had always supported and loved him unconditionally, and who, besides Jennifer, was more important to him than anyone else.
His first marriage, and respectively, his first divorce came to his mind. It was over twenty-five years ago, but his mother would still get mad at him sometimes for how he had screwed up. Never before and never after had he cheated on a woman, he had been in a relationship with.
Joanna, his first wife, was the only one of the three wives his mother had taken into her heart, and while he – in one way or another – had loved all three of his wives, his mother had never warmed up to the other two. His marriage with Joanna was already falling apart, and it was only a matter of time before they would have separated, when he had made that one, very drunken mistake that pulled the trigger for Joanna to end their marriage sooner rather than later. At times, he would still feel genuinely ashamed of what he had done. When his mother had learned about it, she was angrier at him than he'd ever seen her before, and not only because she had loved Joanna like an own daughter, but especially because this was not how she had raised her son. Ever since then, Dave had felt more sorry for failing his mother than he felt for losing his wife.
And he could only imagine how his mother would react if she were to realize what was going on between him and Jennifer, that he was her baby's father and had abandoned her. Her fury at his cheating years ago would be reduced to a minor nuisance in comparison to how she would react if she knew the truth now. And he was certain that this was something she would never forgive him, if he didn't find a way to make it right.
"What are you thinking about, son?" Gracia Rossi suddenly interrupted the silence.
"Oh, nothing." Dave quickly answered, too quickly to be convincing.
"Don't lie to me, Davey. It's obvious that something's bothering you."
"Really, Mama, I'm fine. I was just thinking," he tried to reassure her.
"About that beautiful young woman we've met earlier?"
Tightening his grip around the steering wheel, he felt like he wanted to curse her for her intuitive perception. Sometimes he really wondered if his mother wasn't the better profiler after all. It was a mere wonder that she didn't already sense there was something wrong between him and JJ.
"Mama, I don't want to talk about it now." He tried to brush her off.
"You like her," his mother stated matter-of-factly.
Gracia Rossi looked at her son and eyed him closely as she continued to speak. "She is a wonderful young woman." He detected a warmth in her voice that he hadn't heard since Joanna when it came to one of the women in his life. And, as usual, she was right, of course. His expression softened as he saw the beautiful face of Jennifer Jareau in the mind's eye, letting his mother know that she was indeed on the right track.
"You're in love with her, son. You have that look again. Why don't you ask her out?"
"It's not that simple."
"Where's the problem, Davey? You've never had any problem with approaching a woman before."
"Mama, please, just leave it alone, will you?" Dave sighed.
"But she said herself that she's alone. Or are you having problems because she's expecting a child from another man?" His mother wouldn't give up that fast.
Cringing at her words, Rossi only shook his head. "God help me if she knew!" He thought.
"My priorities are with other things at the moment. There's a lot going on at work right now that takes up my full attention." He hoped that this would get her off of him.
"It does not change the fact that you love her, son," Gracia Rossi insisted.
Rossi let out a breath of relief when he saw his mother's place appear in front of them and their talk was cut short. He helped her out of the car and walked her to the door, before making his goodbyes.
"We're not finished talking about this, Davey," she said, as he softly kissed her cheek.
"For today we are. I gotta go home and get some work for my new book done."
"Work. That's all you have in mind lately. It would do you good to focus on other things again."
"Bye, Mama." He kissed her other cheek and went back to his car.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 16.09.2010 20:48
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
When Rossi arrived at the office after the weekend, he wasn't in a very good mood, pretty much like most of the time during the past months. He didn't get a lot of writing done, because he couldn't focus on anything else besides Jennifer. His mind wandered to her every few minutes and he even debated with himself more then once to call her, had even dialed her number a few times, but in the end he couldn't bring up the courage to pull through with it.
Grumpily, he sat down between Morgan and Prentiss as the team gathered for a short meeting in the BAU room.
"Where's JJ?" Morgan asked as Garcia, who was the last to come in, closed the door behind her.
"She's in hospital." Garcia answered, sitting down next to him.
"What?" Everyone exclaimed and Rossi felt his heart sink.
"It's nothing too serious, don't worry. Though, the doctor kept her there as a precaution."
"What happened?" Hotch's voice was filled with deep concern, as were his and everybody else's faces.
"I was babysitting Henry on Saturday, so that JJ could do some Christmas shopping, and when I brought him back to her, she felt some sharp pain in her stomach. I rushed her to the hospital at once, and they diagnosed her with being in early labor. The doctor gave her medication against it and they were able to stop the contractions. Baby Jareau luckily decided to keep his apartment for now. She will have to stay in the hospital until tomorrow or Wednesday, but she's determined to be back next Monday."
"Why didn't she call us earlier? Or why didn't you?" Prentiss asked.
"I wanted to, but I had to promise her not to. She said, she wanted some time for herself. To think. And after we had a long talk, I agreed with her." Garcia shot Rossi a deadly glare, which left no doubt that JJ had told her everything.
As the others kept asking Garcia questions, Rossi simply sat in his chair, his face buried in his hands.
"This is all my fault," he thought gloomily, "meeting my mother and all was too much for her."
"I have to go see her," he suddenly called out, jerking his head up, and began to rise from his seat.
"I don't think this is such a good idea," Hotch said uneasily.
"I want to see her, too," Reid threw in, and Morgan, and Prentiss nodded in agreement.
Contemplating about it for a few seconds, Hotch gave in. "Fine, let's go," he said, and held Rossi back, as he wanted to rush out of the room with the others.
"I'm warning you, Dave. Don't upset her any more than she already is."
They both made their way out as well and saw Garcia waiting for them.
"I'll ride with Agent Rossi. Why don't you get into the other car with the rest, boss?"
Raising his eyebrows, Hotch realized as well that Garcia was aware of the full story. "I think I'll better ride with you, before you kill him."
Down in the parking garage, Garcia pushed Rossi into the backseat of one of the Bureau's SUV's and slipped inside next to him. As soon as Hotch started to drive, she started smacking Rossi's arm hard.
"How could you? What were you thinking?" She screeched.
"Ouch, damn, Garcia. Stop it!"
"Thank God, we're on our way to a hospital," Hotch muttered dryly. "You might need it, Dave."
"Garcia, let me explain." Rossi tried to shield himself from her attack.
"That's not necessary, JJ already told me everything. And, for the record, you are now on top of my least favorite people list. Above Chief Strauss!" Garcia bit out. It was only due to JJ's interference that she hadn't already shown up on Rossi's doorstep at the weekend to make a living hell out of his life. "Do you even realize what you've done to her? I mean, have you looked at her at all in the past months? She looks like death on legs, with her pale face and the tired eyes, and it's entirely your fault! I really don't understand why she kept defending you in front of me."
"Garcia-," Rossi started, but she didn't let him finish.
"You don't get to say anything now!" Leaning to the front, she continued in Hotch's direction. "I hope you agree with me that he will not get to be in the same room as my little gumdrop!"
"Garcia, I need to talk to her!" Rossi threw in.
"Oh, I don't think so! According to JJ you've already said everything you needed to say."
"Please! I know that all I did was wrong, I won't deny it and look for excuses, but I also did a lot of thinking over the last weeks, and I need to make it right. I need to try at least." Rossi's voice sounded more desperate than he had intended to, and more than Hotch had ever heard from him.
"Dave, you have to admit that Garcia has a point. There's no way I'm going to let you upset JJ even more."
"Aaron, I understand, and I don't want to upset her either, but I really need to apologize. I have to try!" Rossi sighed.
They arrived at the hospital ten minutes later. The others were already waiting for them in the entrance hall, and Garcia led them to JJ's room. Knocking shortly, she opened the door, and they all went in.
They found JJ sitting in her hospital bed with Henry sitting in her laps and a storybook in her hands. The doctor and nurses had hesitated at first, when JJ requested to have her son with her, but they had quickly given in upon her insisting threats that it was either this or she would discharge herself from the hospital.
A bright smile appeared on JJ's face when she saw the team come in, but it disappeared just as quickly, as she noticed that Rossi was with them.
Seeing Henry made Rossi's heart beat faster. He hadn't seen the little boy in quite a while, and he just realized now how much he had missed him and his cheerful squeaks. He briefly wondered if the boy had already forgotten who he was, when Henry suddenly held his little arms out in Rossi's direction and squealed with glee: "Da-da!"
JJ froze in shock, which didn't go unnoticed by the others, and Rossi felt even more uncomfortable to he here than before.
Exchanging questioning looks with Reid and Prentiss, Morgan was about to comment on that, but JJ spoke first. "Garcia, would you take Henry outside, please?"
"Sure," Garcia nodded, taking Henry out of her friend's arms and made her way to the door, not without shooting Rossi another warning glare.
"How are you, JJ?" Prentiss asked then.
"I'm fine. The doctor managed to stop the early labor, but I'm supposed to rest until the end of the week." With an apologetic look on Hotch, she added: "I'm going to have to be on desk duty until my maternity leave as well."
"Don't worry, JJ, That's not going to be a problem." Hotch dismissed her worries gently.
They all fell silent for a moment, and a sudden tension filled the air as Rossi began to speak. "Listen, JJ. Can I talk to you alone for a minute?" He asked softly, and immediately felt Hotch's hand on his arm, trying to hold him back.
"Dave-," he began, but was interrupted by JJ.
"I don't think you and I have anything else to say to each other." Her voice was bitter and sad, as was the expression on her face.
"Please, JJ. Jennifer. I'm so sorry. Let me apologize."
"I don't want to hear it, David," JJ burst out loudly.
"Dave, that's enough!" Hotch interfered roughly, as a nurse came in.
"People, if you are going to upset her any more, you'll have to go. Ms. Jareau needs to rest and avoid stress as much as possible. I'm not sure we will be able to stop early labor a second time around."
Hotch grabbed Rossi by the arm and dragged him to the door.
"Wait! What's all that supposed to mean?" Morgan asked, switching confused looks between JJ and the men at the door.
"I guess it's pretty obvious, isn't it?" Prentiss supplied as it dawned her. "Rossi is the father of your child, am I right, JJ?"
The blonde woman in the hospital bed nodded.
"What?" Morgan and Reid exclaimed at the same time.
"You son of a bitch!" Morgan yelled, storming towards Rossi.
"Now, everyone, please!" The nurse tried to calm them all down. "Remember what I just said and take it outside, will you?"
Hotch pulled Rossi out of the room, quickly followed by Morgan. Without saying another word, Morgan's fist connected with Rossi's jaw, and Hotch needed to pull all his strength to prevent the younger man from inflicting more damage.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 19.09.2010 18:06
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
"Stop it, Morgan!" Hotch yelled at the younger man when he tried to attack Rossi again. Rossi simply stood there without moving a single bone, staring down on the floor, knowing exactly that he deserved every single punch.
"Hotch, are you seriously defending him? Didn't you see what JJ's been looking like in the past couple of months?" Morgan glared at his boss with dark eyes.
"Believe me, Morgan, I am not. But we're in a hospital here, if you haven't noticed!" Hotch answered in a warning tone, throwing a look at the nurse, who came out of JJ's room.
"We can as well take it outside then," Morgan replied, taking a step toward Rossi and grabbed him by the neck. "What is wrong with you, man?" He hissed dangerously, surprised that Rossi wouldn't even try to defend himself, that he didn't even bother to look at him.
"What, now you don't even have one single word to say about this?" Morgan shook his head contemptuously before he continued. "I always thought you were a decent man, but obviously, I was wrong." Loosing his grip on Rossi's shirt, he added: "You know what? You're not worth for me to get my hands dirty on you." He turned away and walked back into JJ's room.
When Rossi wanted to follow him, Hotch held him back.
"Maybe you should go out and take a walk until everybody's calmed down a bit."
Rossi nodded silently, and trudged away slowly, followed by Hotch's concerned glances, passing Garcia, who just came back with Henry on her arms. The little boy immediately squeaked out for Rossi again, but he only gave him a weak and sad smile, before going out of the building.
Back inside JJ's room, Prentiss was just starting to interrogate her on Rossi, when Hotch, Garcia, and Henry came back in.
"Why didn't you tell us earlier? I mean, we all saw how hard the last months were for you, and we asked you all the time if you're okay. Why didn't you say something? We would have done anything to help you!"
JJ sighed deeply. She was relieved that the truth was finally out, but she knew it would not make things easier. Far from it. She was sure that it would bring an immense amount of tension into their close team unit that would complicate matters even more.
"Em, this is between Rossi and me. It had and has nothing to do with the team."
Morgan frowned. "Excuse me, JJ, but I think it does. Don't you think it affects us, too, when two people on our team suddenly share more than just work?"
"Derek, I understand that, but please, let me explain, okay?"
Seeing them nod in agreement, she went on.
"Hotch, Rossi and I agreed that it would be for the best if we didn't tell you. We have to work together, and we can't afford to let tensions between us ruin our success in solving cases."
"Wait," Emily interrupted, turning to Hotch. "You knew about this?"
The Unit Chief nodded.
"Why did he know, and we didn't?" She went on, clearly annoyed about it.
"As your boss and head of this team, I'm sure you all understand that it is my right and my duty to know what's going on among my staff," Hotch tried to explain.
"Right, but we're all friends, not just colleagues, we're like family. Don't you think we have the same right to know?" Prentiss wouldn't give up so fast, but JJ intervened.
"Emily. Please. It was not Hotch's fault that we didn't tell you. I had asked him to keep it quiet."
"But why?" Reid asked, speaking for the first time since they were all back in the room.
"I wanted to keep you from harassing Dave. We still have to work together!" JJ said emphatically.
"What exactly did he actually do?" Reid wanted to know then.
"Yeah," Morgan agreed. "What is it? We surely wouldn't be standing here like that if you two were excited at the prospect of becoming parents."
JJ looked away. For some reason, she didn't want to give Dave away to them. There was no way that Morgan would let him live if he knew the exact events and the exact words that Rossi had said.
"Guys, please. Can we just say that my pregnancy wasn't exactly planned and that we have certain disagreements about this child, and leave it at that?"
"What are you saying Jayje? He doesn't want to have this child?"
JJ let out another deep sigh.
"Jayje, I think we deserve to know!"
Now, also Garcia spoke. "I think they do. It's only fair that you tell them what you told me, gumdrop. We're only here to help you, and I think we can do best if everybody's aware of the entire circumstances."
Closing her eyes for a few seconds, JJ finally agreed. "On one condition, though. You have to promise me that you won't hurt him. Because, when we're speaking about family here, you shouldn't forget that he is a part of this team, this family as well."
"Just spill it, JJ," Morgan pushed impatiently.
"I have a feeling that he won't be a part of this family anymore before long," Emily muttered under her breath, which didn't go unnoticed by her blonde team member in the bed.
"Em, you started insisting to know the whole truth because we're all family. I agree on that, but I also have to say that you can't just throw someone out of a family, just because he did something wrong."
Hotch listened in surprise. Already knowing all the details, it was really astonishing that JJ would defend Rossi so much. It also told him that her feelings for his friend ran still deeper than she would probably admit, to herself or to anyone else. And it was also a sign for him to realize with quite a bit of relief that there was a good chance they would all make it out of this mess
alive, stronger and closer before. But first they would have to go through the pain of learning the truth.
JJ took a deep breath and then began to explain everything. With every word she said, her teammates' faces grew angrier and darker. There was a long silence when she ended.
"Son of a bitch!" Morgan blew out loudly after a while.
"I can't believe how Agent Rossi could do this," Reid muttered in disbelief, unconsciously switching to the formal address of their colleague currently fallen in disgrace again, even though it had been quite a while since even Reid had overcome his hero-worship complex with the older man and had started using his first name.
"I'm going to kill this guy when he comes back," Prentiss pressed out.
"Guys, please, listen to me," JJ began to speak again. "I don't want you to harm him."
"How can you defend this bastard after all he's done to you?" Emily couldn't believe her ears.
"I'm not defending him!"
"Sounds like it," Morgan threw in.
"Again, this is between Dave and me. We are going to work something out, and until we do, I beg you to leave him alone. I don't want this to destroy our unit, our family," JJ pleaded them to understand.
"JJ's right," Hotch finally interfered. " We can't afford losing another member of this team. Just look at it from the point of view of our work. We've never been more successful at solving crimes than with this team, in this constellation. We won't be able to keep that up if we let our anger on one of us overwhelm us."
Deep down they all knew JJ and Hotch were right.
"I don't like this. At all!" Prentiss said. "I can keep working with him, I'm professional enough. But let me be very clear that he will know where my loyalties lie," she added. Morgan and Reid agreed.
"I appreciate that," JJ smiled for the first time during this discussion. "But I ask you to let me and Rossi work things out alone. I promise that I will tell you if I need your help, but as the parents of this child, we will have to find a way to get things straight, all right?"
They all nodded hesitantly.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 20.09.2010 12:19
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
Stepping out of the hospital, Rossi didn't really know where to go. He didn't care anyway.
His mind raced around thoughts about JJ, the baby, and Henry. He felt like he was only a bystander watching his own life running past him, and he couldn't seem to get a hold of it anymore. It was as if he had lost control over everything, and losing control was something he was definitely not used to. He needed to get it back, at least the control over his emotions.
Everything could be so much easier if he hadn't feelings for Jennifer and the children. He could just walk away and not care about what everyone else thought of him. But it didn't work this way, not this time around. This time, he had too many feelings invested himself to be able to just let go.
Breathing in the cool November air, Rossi walked down the streets without looking around. He didn't know how long or far he had been going, but when he stopped and raised his head for the first time, he saw that he was standing in front of a church.
"Funny," he thought, wondering, "how I always end up at a place like this, when I've got problems."
Hesitating for a short moment, he climbed up the stairs and went inside. He was not sure if he could find the answers he was looking for in there, but the quiet and sacred atmosphere of a church had always helped him to clear his mind when he needed time to think.
Once again he was grateful for his catholic upbringing, having given him a place to go whenever he needed to find peace and quiet, even if he hadn't been a good boy. And now it was not about being a bad boy who had played stupid pranks on his neighbors or the girls. This time he had really screwed up.
He went to the front and lit a candle before sitting down.
Leaning back, he stared at the altar, trying to sort his thoughts. They were still racing around in his head, making him feel dizzy.
"God, if I'm already feeling sick, I can't even imagine what Jennifer must feel like."
He remembered seeing her in this hospital bed, pale and tired, much like she had looked over the last months, and he had had to fight the urge to pull her into his arms, and tell her that everything would be okay. Would it really? Would everything be okay? Would he be able to make things right? He didn't know, wasn't sure if she would ever let him, but right here in that church, he realized that he would do everything within his power to correct his mistakes. Because in that moment he fully understood for the first time what it meant for him and his life if Jennifer and the children - both their unborn one and Henry - wouldn't be in it. And it was not a pleasurable thought.
He had theoretically known over the last months that they would be out of reach for him if he didn't watch out, but so far he hadn't fully grasped what it meant if they were gone. Now he did. He could see himself sitting alone in his dark house, bitter and jaded, with no one there but a bottle of Scotch. He would end up like a crazy old fool, hating himself for all the lost chances in his life. Shaking his head, he corrected himself: "I already hate myself anyway."
How did he become such a jerk? Needless to say that he wished Morgan had punched him harder. It was about time someone did it, there was nothing he deserved more right now. How could he ever have been so stupid to say he was not ready to be a father? With everything he had said to Jennifer, he knew it wouldn't be easy to get her to listen to him.
But that reminded him of one of his most prominent character traits: His stubbornness. He would not give up until she was willing to let him be a part of their lives. Because he loved her, and he loved Henry, and he already loved their baby. He couldn't believe it took him so long to get to that point, and now he could only hope that he was able to get Jennifer to let him in again, and that he wasn't too late.
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 22.09.2010 15:53
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
Arriving back at the hospital, Rossi took one last deep breath before he knocked on JJ's door. He was certain that the rest of the team were still there, making sure that JJ was okay, and he hoped they would let him speak with her.
Slowly opening the door, he was immediately greeted by the dirty looks of his colleagues. Mirroring in their eyes was not only anger, but also, and even more, overwhelming disappointment in him. He wanted to explain himself to all of them, but he knew had to take one step at a time. And right now, his main priority were Jennifer and the baby. And Henry, he added in his mind, as the little boy began to squeal for him again the moment he saw him.
"Jennifer," he said softly. "Can I talk to you?"
JJ closed her eyes for a moment, wondering if she was already strong enough to face him.
"What could you possibly have to say, Rossi?" Prentiss hissed, and also Morgan was about to make a remark, when JJ finally spoke, her voice sounding more firm than she actually felt. "Okay."
"Fine, but we're not leaving this room," Morgan threw in.
"Derek, please. I told you this was between me and him, and no one else," JJ reasoned, squeezing her friend's hand. As much as she loved all of them, she knew that she and Rossi would be able to talk a lot more freely with none of them monitoring every single word.
There was also something she felt deep down inside that she couldn't quite determine. Hope maybe, that there was a future waiting for her and Dave together.
"No," she scolded herself. "Don't even think about it. Too much has occurred between us to make it go away with a few words." But if they could come out of it with some amicable agreement, it would lift a heavy burden off her shoulders.
"JJ, are you sure you're up for this?" Garcia asked.
"I am," JJ answered. "Please give us a few minutes, guys," she went on.
"Okay, but you call us in if anything goes wrong!" Garcia insisted, bending over to take Henry out of JJ's arms. When the boy realized that he was being carried out of the room again, he began to cry, reaching out his hands to Dave, who wanted nothing more than to take him into his arms, but didn't dare do so, as he wasn't sure how JJ would react.
"It's okay, Pen, he can stay with me." JJ took him back, and Henry calmed down a bit, though he was still clearly trying to get a hold of Rossi.
"Sure?" Garcia said with a suspicious glance at Rossi.
"Fine, we'll be waiting outside then," Hotch concluded, leading the others toward the door. Leaning down on Rossi, he whispered in passing. "Don't push it, Dave! You're skating on thin ice here!" Rossi nodded and was relieved when the door finally closed behind them.
He had watched the byplay between Morgan, Prentiss, Garcia, and JJ with interest, but also with the urge to intervene, but for once he knew when to keep his mouth shut. He knew it was good for her that their friends were having her back unconditionally, even though it was on his expense, but he didn't care, he didn't have the right to complain about that. What made him kind of happy as well was the fact that she had obviously defended him against them. It only added to the high opinion he already had of her, and he felt quite ashamed again that he had shown her pretty much the opposite with his behavior. Why she would defend him after everything he had done, was something he would never understand, if he didn't know that it was just her wonderful and generous character that couldn't help but do so.
"May I sit?" He asked politely, pointing at a chair next to JJ's bed.
As soon as he sat down, Henry held his hands out again, squirming in his mother's grip, wanting to be on Rossi's lap. Rossi looked at JJ and saw her reluctance, which he could very much understand. Before he could think about it, however, he asked. "Can I hold him for a moment, please?"
JJ's heart clenched when she saw how desperate her son wanted to be with the one man that had hurt her more than anyone before. It was amazing how Henry reacted to Rossi despite the fact that he hadn't seen him for six months. The time Rossi had spent with him before was obviously deeply engraved in the little boy's heart, and JJ realized again how wonderful and gentle the older man had been with him. If there was one thing she was sure about at the moment then it was knowing that Rossi would never deliberately hurt her son.
"Only for a minute, Rossi," she whispered eventually, letting Henry crawl over her legs toward Rossi.
Scooping him up, Rossi felt Henry's little arms around his neck momentarily. He held him close, happy to have him in his arms after such a long time, but when he saw the tears in JJ's eyes, he realized how hard it had to be for her, seeing her son unconsciously betraying her in his innocent moves.
"I'm sorry, Jennifer." His voice was breaking, when he started to speak.
"No, wait, please!" He tried not to get too loud, clearing his throat before he continued. "I really am. I am so sorry for everything I've done. For everything I've put you through." He sounded quite desperate.
"Dave, do you really think you can come in here, say you're sorry, and assume that everything will be fine?"
"No, but Henry-"
"Don't you dare use Henry! Let me be very clear. The fact that Henry apparently loves to be with you does not automatically mean that I am going to do the same. And I would strongly advise you not to use my son, for anything. This has nothing to do with him, so keep him out of your argumentation!" She burst out louder and more forcefully than she had intended.
"I won't, I promise, but hear me out, okay?"
Seeing JJ nod, he went on.
"I'm only here to apologize. I know it takes more than that to make things right, but I hope that it's a start. I know I screwed up, and I don't think that there are words to describe how much I regret everything that's happened over the past months."
Noticing her flinch, he realized the mistake in his words, but before he could straighten it out, JJ already snapped against him.
"Well, you've already made it very clear that you regret having this baby, haven't you. No need to say it again!"
"Jennifer, I'm sorry, that came out wrong. What I meant to say was that if I could go back to the moment you told me you were pregnant, and do things differently from then on, I'd do it in a heartbeat. I want you and this baby! And Henry!" Rossi pleaded.
JJ's eyes filled with even more tears. "I'm sorry, Dave, but after all you said and did I find that a bit hard to believe," she replied bitterly.
Rossi lowered his head, trying hard to find the right words that would make her see he was serious.
"I knew you would say this, and I know that I can't ask you to believe me, and take me back, but all I want is a chance. A chance to prove to you that I am serious. A chance to be a father."
This was what she wanted, wasn't it? That he would come around and accept his father-role. Looking into his eyes, she knew he was sincere. Nevertheless, there was a long silence before she continued to speak.
"David. I need time. I need time to think about everything," she said slowly.
"But you promise me, you'll give me a chance?" He asked hopefully.
"I can't promise you anything right now, David. I want to work things out with you. I really do. But I will need time."
Dave nodded. If this was all he could get for now, he'd take it.
"Can you promise me one thing, Jennifer?"
"Dave, I just said-"
"I know what you said. Just one thing. If you need any help, with anything and whatever it is, please let me help, okay?"
Knowing that he wouldn't give up, she agreed, watching him again as he gently stroked over Henry's hair.
Dave was good for Henry, that much was clear. She had already known that, remembering all those nights that he was with her and her son when Will had left them and Henry couldn't seem to fall asleep without Dave around. It was also part of the reason why those last months were so hard on her, because it was becoming quite a task to put Henry down for the night, when he was screaming for Dave, and JJ realized that she didn't want to take him away again from her son.
At the same time she didn't want Henry to get hurt in the process, and while she knew that Dave would never deliberately do so, she still wasn't sure if she could risk Henry becoming a casualty if things didn't work out between her and Dave. The risk to let Dave in was extremely high, but keeping her son away from him wasn't fair to the boy either. Henry loved Dave too much, and looking into Dave's face, she saw that these feelings were returned.
"About Henry," JJ began again after a few minutes.
"I would never hurt Henry!" Dave threw in.
"I know that, Dave. I'm just not sure if I am comfortable with him calling you Dada."
"I didn't tell him to do so!" Dave's tone became a bit impatient.
"Again, Dave, I know that! Will you let me speak, please?"
"I'm sorry," Dave mumbled.
"I was just saying that I don't want you to encourage this." Seeing Dave's questioning eyes, she added. "I'm okay with you being Uncle Dave. If he wants to see you, I guess I'm fine with that, but I want you to make sure you're Uncle Dave, and not his father!"
"But JJ, if he wants-"
"That's my only offer, Dave. Take it or leave it."
This was definitely not what Rossi wanted, but he knew he shouldn't press his luck today. Nodding he said. "I accept that for
now, but let me make one thing clear, Jennifer. I will never give up trying to convince you that I can and will be a good father to both Henry and our baby!"
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 23.09.2010 18:35
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
JJ was back at her desk one week later. The team had visited her after she'd returned home from hospital to see if she needed any help, each time without Rossi. They had simply refused to ask him if he wanted to come along, partly because they didn't want to spend any more time with him than absolutely necessary, and partly because they feared it would upset JJ too much if he was there.
Rossi himself didn't want to impose, so he didn't say anything, knowing that if JJ needed his help she would not forget her promise and ask him. He wanted to start things slowly, primarily because he feared that if he pushed too hard and went too fast, she would shut him out completely. So he settled with calling her every other night to hear how she and Henry were doing, and if the baby was okay.
The calls were a bit awkward, as they both didn't really know what to say and JJ hesitated from engaging herself in the same deep conversations she'd had with David before her pregnancy, but she also felt that she was loosen up more with each call. She didn't want to admit it, but it felt good to hear his voice, and she was grateful that he wasn't pushing too hard.
On her first day back, JJ spent great parts of the morning sitting in her office, waiting for each member of the team to pay her a visit. She had actually planned on catching up with her paperwork which had piled up on her desk, but when Prentiss rushed in barely five minutes after she got settled, she knew she would not have a quiet morning.
It didn't take more than ten minutes after Emily had left that Morgan knocked on her door, asking the same questions: "How are you? Are you sure you're strong enough to be back? How's the baby?" After that it was Garcia, who – JJ had to give her credit for that – at least made her smile by bringing one of her trolls over from her lair to keep her company. A short time later, Reid showed up, rattling through statistics about the connection between working expectant mothers and early labor, and the risk of having another baby before due day after the first had been early. She didn't quite understand what he was talking about, but it only made her nervous, so needless to say he didn't last longer than five minutes inside before JJ threw him out with the threat of giving birth momentarily right in front of his eyes, if he did that again.
And as if JJ had known it, merely fifteen minutes later Hotch stopped by. Before he could even say a word, she blurted out:
"I'm fine, Hotch. The baby's fine, Henry's fine, I'm well rested, I took all the meds the doctor prescribed, I had a decent breakfast, the coffee in this mug is decaf, and I have no plans whatsoever to leave this desk until the afternoon."
"It's all right, JJ." He couldn't help but let out an amused chuckle. So everyone else had already been there.
"I just came-"
"To check on me, I know. You're not the only one this morning. And I appreciate it, I really do, but as you can see I'm rather busy with all this paperwork here that's screaming for my attention, and I'd love to be done with it before midnight, which will be impossible, if one of you walks in here every five minutes."
Hotch lifted his hands in defeat. "Okay, I'll be back at my office then, if you need anything."
"Thanks, Hotch. And on you're way back, would you please tell the others that I don't want to see them again unless it's work related? I'm not sure if they understood me earlier. If there's anything I need, I'll call you."
"I will." With a wide grin he went out, closing the door behind him.
JJ engaged herself in her files, and was relieved to be able to minimize the load step by step. She didn't notice how much time had gone by when she suddenly heard another knock on her door. Glancing at her watch she realized that it was already lunch time.
"Come in," she called out, a bit surprised that whoever was outside hadn't already simply entered without waiting for her signal, as it was usually the case.
The door opened slowly and Rossi stepped in, waiting between the door frame to see if she was okay with him being here.
"Hey, JJ," he began softly, relieved that she didn't throw him out right away. "I- I wanted to see if you're okay, and, uhm, maybe want to grab some lunch?"
JJ knew she shouldn't be surprised about his attempts, but for some reason she was anyway. Maybe it was because she'd rather expected Emily or Penelope to take her out on a lunch break, which, by the way, was something she hadn't scheduled for today, and had therefore brought her own food.
"Ehm, no thanks," she replied then, seeing the disappointment surfacing in his eyes.
"JJ. Jennifer, you need to eat and take a break. Think about the baby!" Rossi pushed as gently as he could.
"I brought my own lunch," JJ stated firmly, pointing at the brown paper bag on one of the free chairs next to her. "And I'm fairly able to take care of myself without your supervision," she added a bit more harshly than she had intended to.
Nodding, Rossi went on. "Anyway, I just came to see if you're okay."
"I am." JJ said shortly, trying to ignore the warm feeling in her stomach caused by his appearance and his concern.
"Okay, so I'll see you then." His whole body language made it clear that he didn't want to go just yet, but he respected her boundaries, and turned to walk out again.
"Let him go!" JJ told herself, but at the same time she heard her voice calling after him. "Dave!"
He quickly turned around and stepped back in, hope mirroring in his face.
"Why don't you sit down with me for a minute?"
Smiling, he closed the door and took a seat in front of her desk.
JJ sighed deeply and began to speak: "I need you to listen to me, okay?"
The tone in her voice told him that he most likely wouldn't like what she was about to say. Nevertheless, he nodded.
"David, I appreciate your concern, but you have to trust me that I know what I'm doing here. This isn't my first child, remember? I'm able to take care of myself."
"I know that, JJ-"
"I wasn't finished."
He gestured her to go on.
"I need you to give me some space."
"Jennifer, I didn't-"
"Please, Dave. I know you want to make things up to me, but you hurt me too much to make me forget it just like that. We'll be seeing each other here at work every day, and that should be enough for you for now. I won't try to avoid you, as I did in the past months, but please don't push any harder. It was really nice of you to call me at home, and it's okay if you continue to do this every other day, but I'm still not ready to spend more time with you alone. Can you understand that?"
Lowering his head, he consented quickly.
"Give me some time to get used to you again." She looked at him intensely, asking herself if she was doing the right thing.
She hated to see him so broken, but then, it was his own fault. For now it was best if she stood firm and ignored the butterflies that rushed through her whole body whenever she saw him. It was a good sign that it didn't hurt as much anymore when she looked at him, and it would also make working with him a lot easier, but she still had to guide her heart after everything he had done to her.
After a few moments of silence, Dave looked up again and smiled weakly.
"You look better, Jennifer. It's good to see you look better."
"Thanks, Dave. I feel a lot better. I hope we can work together more easily now."
"We can. I promise."
Unfortunately for Rossi, this did not apply for his relationship with the rest of the team.
Of course, Hotch was as supportive of him and of JJ as ever, and Dave appreciated it a lot knowing that he hadn't lost his best friend, despite all of his mistakes, but Prentiss, Morgan, Reid, and Garcia were not as positive.
Sure, their work relationship remained professional, they worked their cases as usual, but apart from that, no one bothered to speak with Rossi.
They knew JJ had told them not to interfere in her and Rossi's business, she had also asked them not to shut their colleague out, but they couldn't help it. After hearing how much he had hurt their best friend and sister, it was simply impossible for them to look at Rossi the same way.
He had become a vital part of the team easily, someone they could all look up to and confide in, someone who would have their back unconditionally, and it had been more than just a shock to realize that he did not live up to the high expectations they'd built in him.
Rossi knew that they would need time, just as Jennifer, and he tried hard not to be affected too much by it. He had tried to explain himself and apologize a few times, but they would simply stand up and leave when he did it, so it was pretty much useless. And who was he to blame them? He had only to blame himself, so he simply kept doing his job, trying to ignore the fact that he was being ignored and shut out completely.
When they were away on cases, he mostly stayed in his hotel room alone, while the others were having dinner together, or going out bar hopping and clubbing after a case was closed. He tried to remind himself that he had always been a loner, that he liked being on his own, but the truth was that after coming back to the Bureau, and after working with them for two years, he enjoyed being part of a team, of a family even. He had finally belonged somewhere, and sitting alone in his hotel room or at home, he could no longer fool himself: He was lonelier than he had ever been in his entire life.
Above all, he missed JJ, missed talking to her. She had made it clear that she needed space, so he strictly stuck to calling her not more than twice a week. These phone calls were his highlights, especially when she allowed him to talk to Henry for a minute.
And while his relationship with Jennifer gradually and very slowly began to heal, he became more and more of an outsider to the rest, and it was something that even Hotch couldn't miss.
He was the only one who tried to spend time with Rossi, who tried to get him out for dinner, or brought dinner to his room.
"I could talk to them, you know," Hotch suggested, but was immediately held back by Rossi.
"Don't worry, Hotch, I'm fine."
"You don't look fine. And this is not what JJ wanted. She didn't want you to be excluded, and I'm sure she didn't want you to exclude yourself."
"Again, Hotch, I'm fine. I deserve this."
"If she knew-"
"Then she'd be upset with them and I don't want her to worry about that, Aaron. Believe me, it's a good thing that she's not on the cases with us at the moment, and I'd appreciate it, if you didn't tell her. This is my own fault and my fight, and I don't want JJ to feel responsible for it."
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 26.09.2010 16:40
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
It was the beginning of December. The team was on a case again, on the opposite side of the continent. A serial rapist assaulting and murdering older women in retirement homes in Northern California was demanding their full attention.
There was still unresolved tension between Rossi and the others, but the better JJ seemed to get along with him, the more they loosened up. It was clear that they couldn't go on like this forever, the tension was wearing on all of them.
Reid was the first one to make a step toward Rossi. They were sent to inspect one of the crime scenes by Hotch, and were sitting in the car heading there, driving in silence at first, much like all the time in the past few weeks.
Rossi had tried to use those opportunities before to talk to them, but whoever he was driving with, they had just shut him up, so he was more than just a little bit surprised when Reid suddenly began to speak.
"Are you going to end up like Gideon?" He asked hoarsely.
"Running away when it gets too much," Reid explained.
Rossi eyed him from the side. He knew Spencer suffered the most when Gideon had suddenly left the team, and he remembered his first weeks back, when Reid tried everything to get his attention, obviously searching for someone else to relate to after his mentor was gone. It took Rossi quite a while to warm up to the genius, but after some time, he had stepped up and taken Gideon's place. Rossi realized that even though Reid had grown up quite a bit over the years, he still feared nothing more than to be abandoned by someone he trusted. The way he, Rossi, had treated JJ had only added to this fear.
"I won't," Rossi simply stated.
"I'm sorry," Reid said then.
"For treating you so badly."
"It's okay, Reid. I deserved it. I was an ass, and now I have to live with the consequences, but it's nothing you have to apologize for." Rossi assured him, seeing him nod from the corner of his eye.
"Why did you do it? What made you hurt JJ so much?"
Rossi shrugged. "I don't know anymore. I'm an old bastard and I've finally realized it, but I don't have a proper explanation. At least not one that won't sound ridiculous, even in my own ears. All I know is that I'm going to have to make it right, and I will, but it would be great if you guys let JJ and me work things out by ourselves."
Reid knew he was right.
They fell silent for a moment and then Rossi said: "You know, I'm really thankful that you're all there for her. It's good to know that she has friends who stand behind her one hundred percent."
"What do you mean? You don't want to be there for her?" Reid was confused.
"No, that's not what I was implying. The thing is, I want to give her everything, but I'm not sure if she'll ever be ready to take it. It's just good to know that whatever happens, she won't be alone."
"I'm sure she'll let you in again. It's hard to miss the looks she gives you, when she thinks no one's watching. Even I see it, and everyone believes I'm blind to these things."
Rossi gave him an amused smirk, and wanted to add something, but they arrived at their crime scene and therefore had to focus on another subject.
The case didn't take long to figure out, thanks to Rossi. Barely twenty-nine hours later, they had a suspect in custody, and the team decided to stay another night at the hotel and then fly back home the next morning.
Prentiss and Morgan noticed the change in behavior between Reid and Rossi, and cornered Spencer on the way up to their hotel rooms, but he brushed them off, saying that he didn't need to justify who he was with.
"All right then, see you for dinner in thirty minutes," Prentiss said, shrugging, before she went off to her own room, mumbling something about Reid being naive, leaving Morgan standing alone in the foyer.
Deciding not to freshen up before dinner, he made his way over to the hotel bar. There, alone at the bar he found Rossi sitting over a glass of Scotch. At first he wanted to go back out at once, but something made him stop.
The way Rossi sat there on his own reminded him of the day they had found him sitting at this bar in Indianapolis a few months after he had joined the team. He remembered that Rossi had come a long way since then. Rossi had been quite a challenge in the beginning, the concept of a team obviously pretty foreign to him. But they had shown him, had taught him what it meant to stick together, and what they could achieve if they worked as a unit. Morgan realized that a big part of his anger toward Rossi was because he seemed to spurn their team with his egotistical behavior, with his relapse into previous manner. To him it looked like as if the team had never meant anything to Rossi, even though deep down he knew that this was not true.
"Maybe we have to teach him again," Morgan thought to himself, walking over to where Rossi was sitting, sliding onto the stool next to him.
Dave had already sensed him stepping through the door, but he was surprised that Derek actually came over to him. He wanted to tell him to go away, but somehow, it felt good to have him by his side, even if he didn't know what was waiting for him.
Morgan ordered a beer, and they sat there in silence for quite some time, until the younger man began.
"You realize that I still want nothing more than to beat the crap out of you, Rossi, don't you?"
"I know, and I deserve it, so feel free to do it anytime you want."
"Nah, don't be pathetic. You know, as much as I hate to say it, we need you, so it wouldn't make sense to kill you. You did a great job today. The team can't afford to lose you." Morgan eyed him silently from the side, and then added: "And judging from what you look like, you can't lose the team either."
There was another moment of silence.
"I never meant to hurt anyone. Especially not JJ." Rossi muttered then.
"Yeah, well you have a very unique way of showing us," Morgan retorted sarcastically.
"I know. And I'm really sorry about everything. But things got out of control before I even realized what was going to happen," Rossi confessed. "And it was too late, before I could regain the control."
"If that's supposed to be an explanation, I have to tell you, it's a pretty poor one." Morgan snorted.
"I know, but the thing is, I don't have a proper one. I only have my intent to make it up to each and every one of you. Especially JJ, of course."
"It won't be easy."
"No, it won't." Rossi said, downing the rest of his Scotch, and throwing a twenty dollar bill onto the counter, before getting up. Morgan grabbed his sleeve. "Listen, we, uhm, we're having dinner together at this little Italian restaurant around the corner. Wanna join us?"
RE: One Night Changes Your Life - JJ/Rossiin Fanfiction englisch 27.09.2010 14:38
von VanInBlack • 1.856 Beiträge
They walked into the restaurant five minutes later. Prentiss, Reid and Hotch were already seated at their table. When they saw Rossi following behind Morgan, all three of them were surprised.
Hotch mostly because it was Morgan, of all people, who brought Dave with him. He would have guessed that Reid would make the first attempts in letting Rossi back in again. Catching the slight smile on Spencer's face, Hotch realized that he and Rossi had indeed made their peace already.
Prentiss, however, couldn't believe her eyes. Her surprise turned into anger fairly quickly, when she, too, noticed Reid's smile. With Hotch being Rossi's closest friend, she knew that he was the only one in the past weeks to stand by Rossi's side, but she was quite pissed off that Morgan and Reid would stab her in the back like that.
"What's he doing here?" she hissed angrily.
"He's having dinner with us," Morgan answered dryly.
Rossi felt pretty uncomfortable. He understood their angry and negative behavior towards him, but the way Prentiss treated him had nothing to do with anger anymore. This was hostility. For some reason, the past events had hit her the hardest of all of them, besides JJ of course. Looking into her eyes, he saw the same pain, he had seen in JJ's eyes. It confused him quite a bit, because he knew she was not in love with him, unlike JJ. There had never been more than friendship between them, and while he could understand her anger over him having hurt one of her other best friends so deeply, it didn't make sense to him that she would react that way.
The look in her eyes told him that she was more than just a bit uncomfortable herself, having him around.
"You know, maybe I shouldn't have come," he muttered to Morgan, who was about to get a seat. "It's probably better if I go back to the hotel." He turned to leave again, but Morgan held him back.
"Wait. Sit down. We're all civilized enough to have dinner together, aren't we?" He shot Emily a warning look.
"Well, if the four of you are best friends again, then maybe I am no longer needed here," Prentiss said, getting up from her chair.
"Emily, wait!" Rossi stopped her.
"Don't you dare 'Emily' me, Rossi," she spat in his direction, glaring at him furiously.
"Maybe you two should clear the air as well," Hotch interfered. "I suggest you have a cup of coffee over at the bar and have a talk," he added, shooting them both a look that made it clear he would make this suggestion an order if necessary.
Rossi and Prentiss went through the restaurant and sat down at the bar. They ordered some Irish Coffee each and sat silently for quite a while, stirring their spoons in their cups. Rossi was the first to speak.
"Listen, Emily." He cleared his throat. "Prentiss, I'm really sorry about everything."
"Cut it off, Rossi. We'll just be sitting here until I'm sure I've calmed down enough to have dinner. You might as well save your breath for someone who's stupid enough to forgive you after all that you've done."
"Don't say my name like that again!" She warned him.
"I'm sorry. It's just that I don't understand what's wrong with you. Why are you so extremely hostile?" Rossi tried to keep his voice as quiet as possible.
"Making my best friend suffer gives me a pretty good reason to be hostile, Rossi!"
"No, it doesn't. It's a reason to be angry, to be mad at me. I get that. But I can see it in your eyes. There's more to it. Your behavior gives you away, Emily."
"God, I hate profilers!" Emily muttered under her breath. A little bit louder, she said: "It's none of your business!"
"Yes, it is, when it's about me. Please tell me what it is, so that I can try to make it right!"
Prentiss fell silent and simply stared at him.
"You actually suggested to her that she should get an abortion?" She finally whispered, and Rossi immediately froze on his bar stool. This was a highly sensitive topic for Emily, and he knew instantly that something he had said must have touched that nerve, even though he didn't know what it was.
"I really thought better of you. You let me believe that you were a decent guy, but you're just another scumbag. I never thought you'd take this topic so lightly. Do you know how that makes me feel? It feels like I have been slapped in the face. I confided in you, you made me believe that you were my friend, but now I don't know anymore if you were serious then, or if you just made me tell you about my abortion, because you were looking for a crack in the case," she ranted out, tears glistering in her eyes.
"Prentiss. Emily," Rossi whispered, his voice cracking. "I am your friend. I was then and I am now. That is if you still let me." He took her hand and squeezed it tightly when he felt her pull away.
"But why would you say something like that to JJ? How could you demand from her to get rid of the baby?" Emily asked, realizing that she couldn't escape him.
"I never said anything like that to her. I swear!" Rossi pleaded.
"Yeah? That means one of you is lying then, because JJ told me differently. And I can say that I know JJ would never lie to me, but with you I'm not so sure anymore." She became more agitated, pulling her hand forcefully away from him.
"Look, I don't even remember what I said to her exactly, but I'm pretty sure that I never suggested anything like that!" Rossi raised his voice as well.
"Let me refresh your memory then. According to JJ, your exact words were ' What are you going to do about it?' How would you think that sounds in our ears? To me that's pretty obvious!"
Rossi ran a trembling hand over his face and through his hair. Looking away, he muttered quietly: "I didn't mean it. I swear. I never meant to even imply it. I was just so shocked about her confession, I didn't know what to say."
Prentiss stared at him coldly. "Well, you should learn to think before you speak!"
There were a few moments of silence between them again, before Rossi turned his head towards Prentiss, and whispered:
"I'm sorry, Emily. I don't know what to say except for I'm sorry. I didn't even realize what I said to JJ, and I didn't know she had told you."
Emily's expression softened a bit at his gentle voice. "You know, it's just that I'm still not over it, and when I heard that you said these things to JJ, I guess I snapped. I told you about Rome because I thought I could trust you, because I knew you would never judge me for it, despite your catholic views. I just never thought that these views could appear to be fake."
"They aren't, Emily. You know that I've not always been a good Catholic. I've never followed all of the church's rules and I've bent quite a few of them to fit with my lifestyle, but there are still a few moral standards that I value very highly, and that I try to live by. And they include that I would never let anyone kill my unborn child. Don't get me wrong, I don't judge you, or anyone else, for having an abortion. I never have and I never will. I know that every woman who goes through that has a reason, and I would never allow myself to question that. You were young and confused, no one can blame you for what happened, and you should stop blaming yourself as well." Rossi explained quietly.
Emily sighed. "It's not that easy. Every time I see those college kids, I wonder how my child would be like today. When JJ says she wants to keep the baby's sex a surprise, I ask myself what I would have wanted. It tears me apart that I never even knew what I was having." She felt the tears running down her cheeks, and Rossi reached out to touch her hand again.
"I'm deeply sorry, Emily. Please believe me when I say that I never meant to hurt you or anyone."
"You have a really strange way of showing it."
"I know, but I'll make it up to all of you, I promise." He gave her a gentle smile.
"I'm still mad at you about JJ. Don't even think I'll let you off the hook so easily after everything you'd said and done to her."
"I'll make it up to her, too. I'll do anything to make her happy."
After a few seconds he added: "And I'll do anything to convince you of our friendship. I know it's hard for you at the moment, but if you ever need a friend, or need to talk, you can call me and I'll be there."
"We'll see about that."
They looked at each other, and for the first time in weeks, Prentiss smiled lightly at him.
"I don't know about you, but I could use some dinner now."
"Yeah, me too," Rossi smirked as they both got up from the bar. Pointing at her tear-stained face, he said: "Maybe you should go to the bathroom and refresh your makeup. I'd hate for Morgan to hit me again, because I made another woman he cares about cry."
"You should never make Garcia cry then. He wouldn't even bother to use his fists, but shoot you right away."
Rossi waited for her until she came back from the restrooms, and they both made their way back to the others.
"What took you so long?" Morgan asked when they appeared at the table. "We were almost starving here." Rossi and Prentiss both smiled, but didn't say anything.
"So, you're good now? We all good now?" Morgan continued.
"Not completely, but we're getting there." Prentiss answered, and they sat down to have a quiet, but nevertheless comfortable dinner.